Reflexions

     There are two different kinds of reflexes:  1.) Horse Handler Reflexes, and 2.) Regular People Reflexes.  There are also Ninja Reflexes, but we won’t talk about that today.  No need to depress those without.  Examples of regular people reflex scenarios include 1.) The way my brother jerks his elbow back and whips around and snarls and acctually does sort of an involuntary Wolverine impression whenever I poke him in the ribs 2.) The time I scared my cousin Sam in the dark and both of her fists and one leg shot out at me in a frantic (and hilarious) defensive maneuver (I was out of range, thank goodness)  3.) Sam, again.  Don’t ever get into a game of slap-jacks with her, she’s really fast.  

  Horse handler refelxes are a mite different.  Our speed is in our feet and our core.  I am unconciously in tune with every shift of every horse muscle that has the potential to move every hoof within leaping distance of my feet at all times.  My feet can move faster than the human eyeball when necessary, and that’s because I’ve had my toes smooshed, broken, and blackened by many an accursed hoof in my day.  It’s something to be avoided, believe you me.  At the beginning of a young horse’s training especially, core strength and quick micro-adjustablility is key to staying balanced in the saddle (see blog entitled Riding Small Crazies).  So a rider’s core reflexes have got to be fine-tuned and quick. 

   Included in the Horse Handler’s Handbook For Handling Horses (when I get around to writing it, that is), is a section on the relaxation that is required for being around horses.  You’ll notice regular people reflexes involve a lot of flailing and jerking.  No horse appreciates sudden movements. It scares them.  And a scared horse can do a lot of damage, so at the tender age of twelve I trained myself out of sudden movements, to spare my horsey associates from unecessary fright.  If anything bad happens I’ll automatically hold very still and prepare my vocal chords for low, soothing tones.  If a loud noise goes off right next to me I usually won’t jump (although the resulting dose of adrenaline can leave my fingers tingling), and it takes an awful lot to make me scream or yell out of fear or startlement.  These calm habits and stoic reactions build trust and are useful and reassuring when I’m handling horses. 

   In contrast, the habits that I’ve built and mentioned are usually not the least bit helpful in the real world.  Included in the regular people reflexes that I have forgone are catching things that I’ve dropped, and moving quickly out of the way of things.  For example, last weekend my usually tactical and dexterous boyfriend managed to knock  his coffee cup over, and the contents of the cup ran across the table and into my lap (it wasn’t very hot).  A girl with regular person reflexes would have leaped away from the table, knocking over her chair, hollering obscenities, thereby avoiding the impending coffee river, and rightfully so.  I sat perfectly still except for a half-hearted grab in the direction of the cup, and then sighed as my jeans soaked up the last few drops.  The hilarity of the situation sank in as Frank ran for napkins and I spent the rest of the day alternating between chortles and fits of giggling as I replayed the scene in my head.  I’m sure there were people on scene who assumed I had peed my pants if they watched me walk out the door that day, but had there been a horse sitting at that table, he wouldn’t have been startled in the least.  Thanks to my horse handler reflexes I ended up with a soggy lap and one  heck of a dating story.  

   I can’t speak for all horse handlers when I discuss these habits, however.  Kathrin (see blog entitled Ode To A German) is as jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.  I scare her all the time, without intent and much to my amusement.  Apparently I have a habit of “appearing suddenly out of nowhere” and every time she jumps and jerks and occasionally screams in reaction. 

   Sadly (in regards to life in the unhorserelated world), I think my habits are pretty well ingrained by now, although I have a theory that if I were to spend less time with horses and more time with young children my reflexes would get quicker.  My niece requires some fast action sometimes.  And Frank has my back (the occasional misplaced cup of coffee notwithstanding) so in the grand scheme of things there’s no cause for concern regarding my goofy reflexes…or lack thereof.